Mayochup

We have had some bar snacks from the Coach & Horses before and they were superb even though they were a little pricey for what we got however we vowed to visit there again and have something a bit more.

We had to wait a few weeks as the gastro pub was undergoing a refurbishment however, one Saturday evening we wandered in and our expectations were high as we were comparing it to The Three Horseshoes in Laleham.

It was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night so we had little trouble in finding a table and looked at the menu. There were quite a few different options and I always aim to order something that you would not get at home. So with that being said, I opted for;


However, on reflection, 45 minutes cooking time was far too long. Either that or the oven was on too high. It was bone dry and not a joy to eat. The flavour was sucked out of it and I had to resort to ordering some gravy to try and bring the moisture back. Alas, it didn't work but then again, a glass of water is not going to re-hydrate The Sahara desert. Needless to say that I didn't finish it and voiced my dissatisfaction to the waiting staff who offered free desserts as compensation. The game chips were nice though.

Mrs Mayochup's lamb arrived and it was OK but had better. There wasn't any real fault with it but there was no wow factor.


Desserts came and we ended up sharing one however, what we got was not what we ordered. One of the waiting staff tried to argue against that but upon reading of the menu (as I advised to him) it was quite clear we got something different. Another member of the waiting staff (the manager, I'm not sure) then told us that each chef likes to make his own interpretations of the menu. That would explain the dried pheasant then!

Finally, a point about the waiting staff. They were non attentive (Mrs Mayochup had to get up several times) and more interested in having conversations amongst themselves.

All in all not a great experience and we won't be back which is a shame as it is technically our local pub.

Autumn is a great time to go foraging as there are plenty of edible things to collect in and around suburbia. Of course, if you're not careful, there are also a lot of things that can make you quite unwell which I have found to my cost which leads me to the chestnut.

England has several types of chestnut and the one I was searching for is the sweet chestnut - the edible ones. These aren't as common as the inedible ones, the horse chestnut. On the ground, when out of their protective cases, they look exactly the same therefore it is near on impossible to differentiate one from the other so it is highly recommended that you do not pick up any that lie on the forest floor.

As I lie here trying to recover from a bout of horse chestnut poisoning, I shall re-educate forgotten minds. I am lucky that I did not have too many as I have read instances where some people have been hospitalised.

The sweet chestnut, below, bears it's fruit in a prickly case and once cooked, they bear a sweet flavour which is quite similar to the sweet potato. If you were to forage for these, I would recommend that you pick the fruit whilst inside the protective case to avoid any potential mix-up. Gloves would be ideal.

The horse chestnut does not bear it's fruit in a prickly case however, as you can see, the fruit is very similar. Once ingested, the results are a lot different. For starters, the fruit is very bitter to taste even though it has the same consistency as the sweet chestnut variety. Other symptoms include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, plus others. Another key difference, which I learnt later, is that horse chestnuts are very difficult to peel.

Be careful what you pick out there.

After experiencing a Gordon Ramsay restaurant many years ago, I looked at Jamie's Restaurant with disdain thinking it would be another overpriced and underwhelming experience but after I looked at the menu I thought it was worth a go.

This write up is on Jamie's Italian in Reading which is situated overlooking the River Kennet however, don't let the promise of great views entice you, there's plenty to look at once inside the restaurant. The layout is open and the staff are jovial - apart from one surly girl. If you get seated by an American chap with tattoo's, you're in for a great time!

First off, there's a bar which is equipped to cater for every cocktail need. I would avoid anything with gin as they insist on using Beefeater which I find rather tasteless but there's a wonderful selection of wines in which I will indulge next time.

The starters was Bruchetta and I went for the Crispy Squid (pictured). This is just light enough to
whet your appetite and leaves you wanting more. Just perfect.  Next up was the mains, which was the Italian Steak Frites and the Lamb Chops Scottaditto and again, food envy was happening. The lamb chops looked stunning! It is well renowned that you do eat with your eyes and still hold true. Just look at it!
The steak frites was as you expect however, the steak you get is enormous! The chips aren't what you quite expect though. I feel there's too much experimentation with the skins on and too many herbs, what I wanted was good old fashioned fries!
All in all, it is recommended that you do try it at least once. I feel you will be pleasantly surprised. Also there, and this is what a lot of restaurants neglect, is good music. Jamie's play upbeat classics such as Coldplay, U2, Moby The Stone Roses, and the like which makes a refreshing change from nothing.

We went a second time for burgers - avoid. The burgers are too dry but we will return to sample other delights on offer.

Southbank is one of those areas which is blessed with a variety of restaurants to choose from ranging from the sublimely expensive to something more reasonable. Of course, doing what we usually do, turn up to one of these not having booked and see if any table is free. More often than not, especially prime time on a Friday, we end up disappointed but we will learn one day.

After a stroll along the Thames, we ended up in this neat looking place called The Wharf. The menu had a little variety and we were both drawn to the seafood options. We were seated upstairs next to a window which offered great views of the Thames and, as dusk fell, the illuminated London skyline.
Anyhow, starters arrived and as you can see, we opted for seafood.


As you would expect from the mussels, it was a lot of work for not that much food however they were cooked well and we were given a finger bowl instead of cleaning my hands on my trousers. The prawns were amazing. Well seasoned and very generous in size. If there had to be a tiny, and I mean tiny, criticism would be perhaps a tad too oily but I stress that's me being very picky but then again, I'm not John Torode.

Seafood again was the flavour of our mains in the form of a risotto and linguine. The picture should be self explanatory.

Unfortunately, I lost the bet in having the risotto but it was a blessing as I was recovering from a bout of man flu and my appetite hadn't been restored to its former glory so I shall start with the linguine. It did look appetising however it had a little too much tomato sauce for my liking but Parmesan cheese came to the rescue. Lots of it. I did leave most of the linguine but that was due to my lack of appetite more than anything. I did finish off and pick out the seafood elements which, as a seafood lover, did not waste.

The risotto was also presented well and did taste lovely but there was no way I would have finished it. It was quite rich with its creamy sauce and subtle enough to convert even the stoutest of seafood haters.

Normally I would not have opted for dessert however we did catch a glimpse of a rather attractive looking cheesecake that another table was having and that was settled. The Wharf kindly offered us plenty of time (whether we liked it or not) between the end of our main meal and taking our dessert order. It did take quite a while to attract the waitresses attention. Anyhow, after what felt like an eternity, we were greeted with our prize - white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake.

Bloody hell that was nice! Presentation spot on and the taste... wow. Again, if I was being picky, my only teeny criticism would be to question why there is a strawberry on it? A raspberry surely? Anyhow, the cheesecake didn't last long.

The staff were made to wear these t-shirts which, and I can't quite remember exactly, had written on their back of "Taste Me, Love Me,..." there's two others. I would imagine they would have had a lot of comments of a suggestive nature in the past, that would be if they were paying attention which they were not. Never have I seen a disinterested bunch. As we paid up and left, we never got a goodbye. The only acknowledgement was an excuse me as we were inadvertently in the way.
So to sum up, good food, great location but the customer experience could be worked on.

Have you ever tried to follow a recipe from a celebrated chef and it never quite works out to plan? A few days ago I attempted Jamie's Moroccan Lamb Stew and it turned out very well. Granted, I didn't have or use 100% of the ingredients (who ever does?) but I followed his methods. Here's what the said stew is supposed to look like from his website...

... and my version.

Not bad eh? The only difference is that the lamb is chopped and I use a lot more coriander.
What I find brilliant about Jamie's website is that he uses ingredients that most people will have in the house and all of his measurements are approximate. There is a great deal of flexibility in his recipes which allows a greater margin of error.

During the Easter break, we decided to take a trip to Richmond and explore it in all itss splendour in the sunshine. The walks by the river were refreshing and brought an air of calm to the busy hustle and bustle of London. You forget London has trees and wildlife therefore it is only fitting that we ended up in Giraffe for something to eat. To be honest, I've only just thought of that now and not at the time.

We were greeted by a member of staff who was deliriously happy. You know, the sort of happy person who hysterically laughs at everything you say complete with the head movement. Still, nevertheless and undeterred, we went in. The deliriously happy girl then passed us on to another deliriously happy girl (this one happened to be American) who then proceeded to tell us about the specials in a high squeaky voice that neither of us could understand. As I looked round, all the staff seem to be at it apart from one. The one who wasn't we dubbed as the normal one and she obviously hasn't had chefs special cocktail from the kitchen. Anyhow, having realised what have we stepped into here, we looked at the menu which was standard unexciting run of the mill stuff. The restaurant has no obvious theme as the menu ranged from burgers, salads, grills, pasta - a bit of everything to suit all tastes which is commendable but no idea why it is called giraffe. To me, Giraffes are found in Africa therefore the menu should reflect this. Oh well, I remembered they did great breakfasts when I visited one at Heathrow.

After a time, the American deliriously happy waitress returned and took our drinks order in which we ordered an iced tea (with mint, mango, and some other stuff) and water. The iced tea returned and it was heavily overpowered with mango. Couldn't taste anything else apart from a slight, and I mean slight, tang of mint. Strange flavour.

Then it was time to take the food order. We ordered the club sandwich and the burger with a small change to the burger order to replace the normal chips to wedges. The American waitress deliriously said this would not be a problem and practically skipped to the till whilst saying we made excellent choices.

Our food came reasonably quickly and was brought over by the chief delirious waitress.
"Oh wow you guys, your food is here. Omg, I've got some food envy going on right here!"
Bleugh! Have you really? I'm pretty sure you've seen this plate a thousand times before. This sort of thing is just far too overbearing and there's really no response you can ever give to that. Anyhow, this "food envy" food turned out to be not quite right. The wedges that weren't supposed to be a problem were not there and the club sandwich that a normal person ever thinks of, the two tiered sandwich, is not what the bigwigs at giraffe think. As you can see below, the club sandwich remarkably resembled a chicken burger and should have been advertised as such. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed with the outcome. Still, this could potentially be rescued with the Mayochup. Mayochup, for those who do now know, is a blend of mayonnaise and tomato ketchup. We never saw the delirious American waitress again. I suspect she was banished to the naughty step by chief delirious waitress for getting something wrong. Of course, this was all done with huge grins on their faces, perhaps face lifted on.

Still, after coming to terms with the non-club sandwich, it was now time to eat it. I would suggest the slightly blunt knife should be replaced with a hacksaw and if you're one of those who don't have strong teeth, you have been warned. The chicken was tough, it would make an excellent building material, bland and largely tasteless and the ciabatta, yes - ciabatta for club sandwiches, was a bit stale. Still, the wedges were good. The burger was OK but strangely it seemed to adopt the style of a club sandwich with the spear in the middle. There's been better burgers but it wasn't awful.

At the end, the delirious waitress was gushing over other tables giving them the same overbearing treatment we got given so we paid up and left. Thankfully, we paid with the normal waitress who was quiet and polite, just how waitresses should be. They aren't there to be centre of attention and it is not a stage show. If this is their way of generating extra tips and enhancing the customer experience, then I'm afraid it is doing quite the opposite. For a Saturday night in prime time, the restaurant was only half full which says a lot. It was a relief to get out and without saying anything, we knew it was the first and last time we will ever set foot in there.

So to summarise; the service was forced, smothering and the food was a huge disappointment. So sorry giraffe, you will have to undertake a major overhaul in service and quality to ever be considered again.

Overall score 3/10.